Round 1, Match 3:
SAMUS ARAN vs FREAKAZOID!!!!!!!!!
Turf: Planet Zebes.
Previous round winner: Diablo. Cyndi Lauper was right...money really does change everything. Enjoy your vacation, Deadpool. See you in another tournament. (Credit for this goes entirely to CommissarMuskeg. Amazing argument. This is what the tournament is all about!)
Simply due to the reality-warping powers of Freakazoid, combined with the fact that Samus Aran doesn't normally pick pointless one-sided fights without money involved and with no evidence of corruption, I'd have to go with Freakazoid. She strikes me as the kind of person who wouldn't have her time wasted.
ReplyDeleteI think due to the somewhat chaotic nature of Freakazoids powers and how they manifest, Samus would win a fight. Her weapons and talents are reliable and while she has fewer then infinity tricks up her power armored sleeve, she's no slouch. Also, while it's not "home turf" to anyone, Samus definitely has the advantage over Freakazoid on Zebes, if only counting on past experience. Another tidbit, I cannot recall any of Freakazoids encounters ending fatally. I understand it was a children's show, but so was Power Rangers, and crap got blown up CONSTANTLY. So I have to question Freakazoid's ability to even but a scratch on Samus, let alone beat her in single combat (which would quickly become non-single if Freakazoid just copy/pasted himself a couple times, but I digress). I think this fight comes down to first strike capabilities. Whoever things the other is a threat first and throws down is liable to win. Missile to face? Samus wins. Reality warping Samus into a plastic toy, complete with morph ball action!? Freakazoid wins. I don't know the answer to that though... Lil help?
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, that makes sense. So the question really is, who gets the first strike...?
ReplyDeleteas I think about it, I think Samas would be the one to pulls the trigger. Freakazoid takes damn little seriously, whereas I have yet to see Samas smile, like, ever. In all likelyhood, Samas is on some crazy ass mission involving killing all metroids for the 5th or 6th time, and she recognizes what a hazard Freakazoid could be to her success. The guy is a walking accident factory really. Unlimited power contained by a mortal will? I mean, he shows some heavy signs of dementia and what not ( I'm using dementia as a catch all term for bug-nuts crazy). So, for the sake of the mission, Freakazoid gets to be a target of necessity.
ReplyDeleteFreakazoid's powers work entirely under Rule Of Funny. If it is funny, then it will happen. We're dealing with a woman whose ENTIRE powerset is based on intense physical training and awesome futuristic technology. The key words are TECHNOLOGY. The entire series of punchlines to follow would be about Technology failing in hilarious ways, and it would be amazing. With her bare hands, Samus is still a deadly combatant. But Freakazoid fights Ninjas on a Daily Basis. So long as he can find a way to keep it funny, he will win.
ReplyDeleteThis of course, is assuming that Samus doesn't check the internet with her senses to have a better idea of where Freakazoid is, Freakazoid doesn't upload himself onto her armor's computer, and then Freakazoid DOESN'T trash her armor in a hilarious way.
Honestly, there's no two ways about it. This is Freakazoid's match. Samus just can't defeat Rule Of Funny based powers.
I only question if the Rule of Funny requires Freakazoid being aware of the event in question. If his powers require no active use on his part, then no matter what, Samus will lose. However, if Freakazoid needs to recognize the threat, even subconciously, then we have ourselves a problem. Cause all the power in the world won't help you if you aren't aware of the 10' large sphere of roiling plasma about to impact on the back of your head (and everywhere else). Also, should Samus's suit be functionless, she can shed it and go Zero Suit, much to the male audiences pleasure. And, as you yourself pointed out, she is a deadly combatant in hand to hand combat. I will point out as well, that Freakaziod always fights ninjaS (extra emphasis on the pluralization).
ReplyDeletehttp://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p70/
Right, that link should show Dr. McNinja displaying the Inverse Ninja Law, where multiple ninjas are incompetent and faceless mooks to be defeated however the opponent wishes. So, Freakazoid beating ninjas on a daily basis no longer holds merit as a display of fighting power, if anything it just earmarks him as the protagonist of the show. So, we still have us a fight.
This discussion is closed until the overturn round.
ReplyDeleteaww i missed it. freakazoid totally wins... to the overturn round it is!
ReplyDelete