Round 1, Match 6:
SCORPION vs SCOTT PILGRIM!!!!!!
Turf: Toronto.
Previous Round Winner: Much to this judge's surprise, Doc came out on top. Dr.Manhattan doesn't need to delete Slenderman (based on the arguments provided), he just needs to delete the part of his mind with it in it. However, other characters might believe him back in to the tournament later...
THIS is a match I can get behind.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to give this to Scott, because he'd have access to the rest of Sex Bob-Omb, and I think they could rock out enough to defeat Scorpion. Sure, Knives would probably wander in and be all "I've got your back, Scott!" and then get the color knocked out of her hair (or more likely, probably just "finished"), but in the end I think Scorpion would be treated like one of the evil boyfriends and defeated in a battle of blazing rock glory. And Scott would get some more change.
Much as I hate Scott as a character, I have to give this one to him. Scorpion's opponents were big, but their powers were limited to a certain extent. Scott would fight Scorpion not on Scorpion's usual ground, but since it's Toronto (and thus Scott's "world"), more in the style of a video game boss fight. And since Scott has experience fighting ridiculously-powered opponents who can punch a hole in the moon, Scorpion (who, despite his powers, is in the low-to-mid tier of potential powers when stacked up against the gods and monsters of the MK universe) doesn't stand much of a chance. And even if Scott loses once, he still has an extra life. Combine this with, as Pattae said, Sex Bob-Omb coming to his aid to help defeat Scorpy with the Power Of Rock, and it's pretty much a clean win no matter how you slice it.
ReplyDeleteScorpion has a few things going for him. namely the whole undead ninja returned from hell thing. However, Scott has demonstrated an ability fight as in a video game. Scorpion IS a video game character. Scott wins.
ReplyDelete(I also lol'd at "However, other characters might believe him back in to the tournament later...")
Scott Pilgrim is the best fighter in the province. He had a movie that was worth watching and he gained the power of Self-Respect. AND he gained the power of Understanding if you read the comics. He lives and dies by videogame logic. ALL videogame logic. Including extra lives.
ReplyDeleteScorpion lives by a single game's logic.
Scott wins through superior gaming versatility, and the fact that he has both the power of Understanding and Self respect. And a better movie.
Well, I'm a little less sure. See, Scorpion is an undead ninja from Hell. Scott is a somewhat nerdy kid. If you look at the comics less as literal fact and more as a metaphorical journey through the trials of growing up expressed as a amusing serious of video game-esque battles, then Scott isn't a powerful, multi-layered game character who can tap into multiple types of combat and video-game styles of combat. If the story of Scott Pilgrim vs the World is just a metaphor for a coming of age and realization of self, which I personally believe it to be, then the kid is royally boned. Like "GET OVER HERE so I can RIP your spine out through your mouth!" kind of boned. As for the back up from Sex Bob-omb, well, their still kids, so.... yeah, royally boned. Also, in the realm of extra lives, Scorpion is not down and out untill he's been beaten TWICE. If he can beat Scott even once then Scorpion has to be beaten THREE times to be fully finished. Scott, to my knowledge, has only 1 extra life. Advantage? Scorpion.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as previously established in the Freakazoid vs Samus Aran fight, a single ninja is a unstoppable killing machine. To me that's another point against Scott, who also won a grand majority of his fights by tricking his opponents in some fashion, or exploiting a HUGE weakness (back of the neck, stripping away all Vegan powers, daring the idiot brute to skateboard to his death, ect). If the 'exploiting a weakness thing' should be ruled in Scott's favor, I' disagree with that too. For at least a few of the fights, Raymona hinted, suggested, or otherwise TOLD Scott how to exploit those weaknesses and win. Scorpion HAS no weakness to be exploited, so that tactic is null and void.
Advantage? Scorpion.
In order for this fight to be a actual fight, Scorpion can't be a 2D lump of pixilated hell spawned, undead, ninja flesh. He has to be able to think, adapt, and otherwise battle Scott like a NINJA. Toronto is HUGE. It is not the tiny pillar of rock surrounded with fire that Scorpion has so often found himself confined to, where moving past a certain point is death. No, he has buildings to run into, shadows to sneak into, and best of all, Scott's loved ones in easy reach. Hell, ALL he has to do is "GET OVER HERE" Remona (who Scott loves) or Knives (who Scott feels somewhat responsible for and doesn't want to see hurt) and rasp (in a demonic, undead like way) "Yield or a I will paint this town with this innocent's entrails." Well, now Scott is in trouble. Either he continues to fight and someone he cares about is BUTCHERED, which would apply some serious emotional problems for Scott, who will forever be haunted by the death of someone he loves and his feelings of responsibility. OR, he surrenders, the damsel in distress is released, and Scorpion is the victor. Whether or not Scorpion then throws a fusillade of poison soaked shuriken and thus tears gory holes in said damsel in a time-honored tradition of celebratory murder is a different matter entirely.
Advantage? Scorpion.
Winner? Scorpion.
I beg to differ. Scott Pilgrim *has* fought a single ninja before. Remember Knives' father _and_ Ramona's ex-girlfriend? (Okay, so the latter is a *half*-ninja. Whatever.) Scott initially gets whipped, but then gains a new power, like a sword of love that grows out of his chest. As you can see, Scott's Toronto doesn't follow the rules we associate with real life, such as a skinny 20something-year-old shouldn't be able to take down demonic cheerleaders with the power of rock. And that was his FIRST fight. Furthermore, whether or not Scott's story is a metaphor for growing up (it totally is), we have to take his powers at face value, like any other match - because the fact is, in the Scott Pilgrim books, he kicks a lot of ass.
ReplyDeleteTo address your point of Scorpion having access to Scott's loved ones, which I think is your strongest point, I have one question. How would Scorpion know who they are? There are millions of people in Toronto, and if Ramona and Co. had any sense (they do), they would stay well away or hidden for this fight.
Scorpion is what we in the business refer to as a "Highly Visible Ninja." Do we ever see examples of him being stealthy like a ninja? Does he ever ACTUALLY do anything particularly ninja-ish? Not REALLY, at most he kills people with his bare hands. The chief prerequisite for the Highly Visible Ninja is that they have nothing to do with being a Ninja, and everything to do with killing people. In the open. His Ninja training is very much an Informed Ability. He operates more like a fighting game character with a knife on a rope, and not even a very good one. All he can do is hook and pull with it after all.
ReplyDeleteNow, meanwhile, in Scott Pilgrim's universe we have examples of people who fight like ninjas. Ramona herself is trained as a ninja. Roxy Richter tries to KILL Scott, as an invisible, ultra-fast well trained ninja attacking him from stealth. Scott DEFEATS Roxy Richter's stealthy ninja trickery via awesome. I don't care if you choose to view Scott Pilgrim as a coming of age story...it's a coming of age story with LITERAL ninjas and LITERAL giant robots and LITERAL fights to the death. Scott Pilgrim ONLY defeats the second and third of the evil exes with treachery. The rest he defeats through his awesome fighting prowess.
Furthermore, did we mention that Romona is his girlfriend, AND ALSO A NINJA? The only reason she couldn't help him against the Evil Exes was because her outside interference would count as a forfeit for Scott. Now there's no reason for her to hold back. This is Toronto, baby. She'll be there, and she actually knows how to USE her hammer to it's full extent.
Scorpion is in WAY over his head on this one.
See, I feel that Scorpion is not ever given the opportunity to act ninja-ish. Mortal combat is a side scrolling button masher/memorize-those godforsaken-combos-like-a-dick game. I feel like Scott is buggered. Also, IF Ramona shows up to help Scott, well then we're back to the "Get over here"-hostage tactic again, so either Scott is on his own, or he's forced to surrender.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to believe that Scorpion earns the title Ninja just by killing enough people. Did he get a free set of steak knifes too?
I also feel like we're having issues of continuity here. Are we referring to the Scott Pilgrim of the Movie, or of the graphic novels? I only have knowledge of 1 (the movie) and so it confuses me when I hear about some of these characters and abilities (Ramona with a hammer?).
Also, we keep looking at Scorpion as if he's being controlled with the lil' joystick and two buttons of ye olde arcade game. What if he used the "knife on a rope" to pull himself places, adding an ability to basically double jump/ change direction mid-air. To my knowledge, Scott has to close with a given opponent to hurt them; he's melee only. So, in the tradition of cheap tricks, couldn't Scorpion just G.O.H. Scott, punch him in the face a few times, and then throw him back like a puny fish? Rinse and repeat?
Let's not forget, even if a Highly Visible Ninja (which I maintain is only due to the game Scorpion is featured in), Scorpion should have access to the stock tools of the trade i.e. shuriken and the the like. Let's say not though. He just has his bare fists and a knife on a rope. When using such an implement, he can damage Scott by using it like a whip or archaic yo-yo.
It just causes head-aches for me to think of a ninja, who has slaughtered hundreds, if not thousands of people; clawed his way back from Hell, and is summarily obliterated by a 20-something punk.
The basic point I have, that I would like to at least see acknowledged, is that Scorpion is not just a useless video game character, or an inexperienced teenage ex-girlfriend, but a tried and true murderer. He has skill, speed, and raw talent tempered by experience. Scott may have beaten and turned 7 evil dudes/dudettes into pocket change, but Scorpion does that before breakfast. I hold out that he is Scott Pilgrims final opponent. Death has come to Toronto, and he howls "GET OVER HERE!"
Let's use the comic book version of Scott, as the movie is a *really* compressed version of the plot and therefore does not really show Scott and his abilities at their best. In the comics, Scott is the best bare-fists fighter in the province and is extremely proficient with the sword. Let's not also forget his more hard-to-pin-down powers such as the "power of rock" self-respect, and love, which do provide a real threat to beings of evil such as Scorpion. And, let's face it, Scott has that sort of "protagonist's luck" that allows him to beat an opponent when he's way in over his head, like with a guy who can punch the moon.
ReplyDeleteAs to Ramona being hostage material, in the movie it may not make it clear (I too forgot this), but she has trained under the half-ninja ex and is no stranger to kicking ass (witness her fight against Knives). I feel like she could at least escape by combat skills alone, if not actually repel Scorpion. But that's ignoring the fact that she can open portals all over the place and use them to go to unguessable locations.
Whenever Ramona pulls out her asskicking credentials, faces get owned. Scorpion doesn't stand a chance against her, let alone Scott Pilgrim, and now he has fair odds of fighting BOTH of them. Scott knows where all the best powerups are in Toronto, and has the in game currency to buy them.
ReplyDeleteHe can say "GET OVER HERE" all he wants, but if Scott actually GOES OVER THERE, Scorpion is getting pureed faster than you can say "Hipster." The only way this victory could be more certain is if we found out that Scorpion was the 8th evil ex!
I suppose what it boils down to is that Scorpion, being a lowly button masher character, is just lacking the in-depth backstory to accomplish anything. Ah well, had to try, wouldn't be a real fight unless someone was giving the underdog a voice eh?
ReplyDelete*FATALITY*
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